


all i need, darling, is a life in your shape

by paintedstudy



Category: I Was Born for This - Alice Oseman
Genre: Drabble, First Dates, M/M, this is so short lmao
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-08
Updated: 2019-06-08
Packaged: 2020-04-23 02:53:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 837
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19142110
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/paintedstudy/pseuds/paintedstudy
Summary: jimmy thinks about lister





	all i need, darling, is a life in your shape

**Author's Note:**

> just some stuff i wanted to write out about jimmy and lister after reading iwbft
> 
> minor cw for the same sort of shit that happens in the book, i.e. mentions of stabbing and lister's addictions. title is from 'strawberry blond' by mitski

Lister was lonely.

Jimmy knew this. Even before Lister had told him why he used to sleep around so much, even before he'd worked out for himself just how deeply Lister's feelings ran for him.

It just...fit to his personality. Now, Jimmy was more acutely aware of it than ever, as Lister gradually began to take shaky steps forward with recovering from his addictions. It wasn't just because he, Rowan and Lister were all in therapy - Jimmy was closer to Lister than he had ever been before.

He had previously been comfortable with the distance between him and Lister. Never longing for something more, longing to unravel all the layers that made Lister up - longing to know him, truly.

Since he had been stabbed, it was all he could think about. Working on his relationship with Lister, especially in the early stage of dating him, was as distracting and wonderful as it was time-consuming and stressful. 

It was new, and so, so nice.

It quickly became apparent to Jimmy, just after a few weeks of trying to work out what Lister really wanted - from the world, from anyone - that Lister just wanted to feel wanted.

Jimmy understood that. He himself was so deprived of physical affection for so long that thinking about it even nowadays would drive him crazy.

He also knew he had a part to play in why Lister sought out attention so desperately. Years of basically third-wheeling to Jimmy and Rowan's friendship had left him with some feelings of inadequacy, to say the least.

Consciously making an effort to make Lister feel wanted had at first ended up being little more than involving him in Brooklyn Nine-Nine marathons. It had been far, far easier to adjust than Jimmy had thought, and he chastised himself for never having made an effort with this before.

And then Jimmy had realised one evening that it really did mean something that he couldn't stop thinking about Lister - everything from the way that he looked under the stars to the utterly captivating way he talked.

Jimmy took Allister Bird to dinner for the first time over two months after Lister had told him he wanted to date him.

_"Are you sure?" Lister said after a silence that was too long. This wasn't what Jimmy had expected him to say and, for a moment, he wondered if Lister had lost interest in him and whether this was his way of letting Jimmy down gently._

_"Yeah. It won't change anything between us, if you say no. I just -" Jimmy broke their eye contact - "I just...really think this is worth a shot. You and me, I mean."_

_Lister searched Jimmy's expression, and Jimmy hoped that for once his nerves wouldn't betray his sincerity._

_It seemed an eternity before Lister replied, "Okay."_

To say that their first date was unusual would be an understatement. It went well - clearly, as they were still together, and had been on many since then - but nothing that should be normal was actually normal in their lives.

Rowan had gone to a party that night, not questioning Jimmy and Lister's lack of interest in accompanying him - he had long since realised parties were not Jimmy's scene and Lister's current sobriety made parties far less enjoyable for him.

They had both dressed up for it, and had gone to the restaurant in the fancy hotel in which they were staying. It was during a working week, so there were few others there - no one to take pictures. That meant Lister had dressed up for Jimmy, and no one else - not out of obligation, like it usually would be. Despite how slow the start of the evening had been, this realisation hummed happily beneath Jimmy's skin.

Jimmy was nervous because he wanted this to be the start of something good. Lister was nervous because he wasn't yet sure if Jimmy's interest in him was real.

Eventually, they found their rhythm. Their flirting wasn't unlike their friendly banter, and the evening had become easier with every word they traded.

Afterwards, in the elevator up to the floor of their room, Jimmy found himself watching Lister. Lister returned his gaze, and strangely this didn't make Jimmy tear his eyes away. Lister's eyes were inquisitive, but Jimmy didn't feel like they intended to tear into his soul the way he did when connecting gazes with other people.

Jimmy basked in that newfound calm, and drew it out to when they arrived back in the room before he gave in and kissed Lister.

It was different than before, not just because Lister didn't taste of wine and cigarettes. He wanted it this time, even with his heart hammering against his chest. He wanted it more than he had ever wanted to kiss someone before.

They hadn't done more than that, but as they bade each other goodnight and retreated to their respective rooms, Jimmy could tell that Lister's outlook on their relationship had been improved. He went to bed that night smiling.


End file.
